Let me start by saying that, though there are helpful blogs and books out there, there really is no "one size fits all" guide when it comes to falling for someone who has children with an ex. Because of this, everyone involved has to learn to forgive themselves (and each other) for A LOT of …
I think we use the word "good" too often when we talk about parents, step-parents or otherwise. In truth, I find myself less and less interested in being a good stepmom. Good is too subjective - it's emotional, judgmental, and entirely too easy to fall short of. I've decided I'd rather be successful. What do …
Continue reading 5 Things You Need to be a Successful Stepmom
Last year I would have laughed if you'd told me I'd schedule regular 'mom dates' with my husband's ex and our children, but that's exactly what I'm going to advocate to you now. When I first began seeing my husband, I reached out to his ex for a coffee date in the hopes we might …
Continue reading Mom Dates: Why I’m Willing Spend my Time with my Husband’s Ex
This weekend was my first wedding anniversary, which means I successfully made it through the first year of being a stepmom - the good, the bad and the ugly (or, more honestly, my good, my bad and my ugly). Over the past year I've cried, I've raged, I've tried to fix every problem logically (ha!), …
Continue reading The Truth About Your First Year in a Second Marriage
We recently attended a wedding where we ran into an old acquaintance - which may seem like it has nothing to do with stepparrenting, but stick with me: He, along with our other friends, is following our journey as a blended family. He shared that he has a stepmom (we're everywhere!) and, for him, she …
There aren't many examples of stepmoms in the media and there aren't many conversations about stepmoms in general. Growing up, I knew what it was like to have a stepmom, but not what it meant to be one. A quick google search will reveal there are many types of stepmoms and they all have differing …
Here's the truth: since becoming a stepmom I've experienced a rather sneaky, nagging state of insecurity. I mean, imagine realizing (slowly, at first) that, despite your hardest efforts, your intrinsic value within society is infinitely lower than almost any other adult that comes into contact with your stepchildren. Imagine feeling like you have to fight …
Continue reading Fighting Insecurity: My Dirty Little Secret
I'm going to share an unpopular opinion: stepparents should be able to take an active role in parenting if they want to. And not just the lovely moments, but the difficult you-hit-your-sister-so-now-its-timeout moments. From private conversation to public forum, we constantly tell stepmoms to back off. "Keep your opinions to yourself." "Leave discipline to the 'real' …
Continue reading Why We Should Stop Telling Stepmoms to Step Back.
Hey girl, it happens. Maybe your kids had more attitude, maybe you had less patience or maybe life happened and you just weren't on your A game. We've all been there (I was there last week). The problem? It is entirely too easy to beat ourselves up for a less-than-perfect parenting moment (or twelve). It's in …
This Wonderful Life 